Thoughts on “Silence”


Spoilers below

When director Martin Scorsese (Shutter Island, Hugo, The Wolf on Wall Street) announced he was producing a movie adaptation of Shūsaku Endō’s novel, Silence, there was much excitement among critics. Scorsese originally read the book in 1989, and has been talking and dreaming of making it into a movie ever since. He finally realized his dream when Silence was released in December 2016. The events of the movie closely follow the novel, written in 1966 by a Japanese Catholic author known for grappling with deep topics of faith.


The early half of the 17th century was a time of intense persecution of Christians in Japan. When discovered by authorities, Christians were forced to trample on a carved image of Christ, called a fumie, to prove that they had apostatized. If they refused, officials waited by with countless methods of torture, most of which led to martyrdom.

Garrpe and Rodriguez are Jesuit priests spurred to go to Japan in search of their former mentor, Father Ferreira, who has supposedly apostatized from his faith under torture from the Japanese. Distrusting these reports of their beloved priest, the two Portuguese missionaries risk their lives to travel across the world to bolster the persecuted Japanese church and to learn the truth about Ferreira. Rodriguez and Garrpe are thrown headlong into an environment of fear, secrecy, and suspicion. Led by a drunken, cowardly guide, Kichijiro (who claims he is not a Christian), the priests make their way to a Christian village, where they are ardently welcomed by the suffering community of believers. Rodriguez is initially encouraged by the faith of the Christians, and exhilarated by their reliance on him. He is even able to minister to Kichijiro, who was originally a Christian but apostatized under fear of torture years earlier and was forced to watch his entire family die for their faith.

However, officials soon get word of the Christians in hiding. Three men from the village are executed for their faith in an agonizing crucifixion scene. Kichijiro escapes a similar punishment by profaning Christ and the Virgin Mary. Soon after the villagers are martyred, Rodriguez and Garrpe flee separate ways in an attempt to preserve their lives and ministry. All the while, Rodriguez is haunted with consuming questions about the silence of God. Why does God silently allow so many faithful believers to be heinously tortured to death for their love of Him?

Rodriguez is soon after betrayed by Kichijiro for three-hundred pieces of silver in a manner intentionally reminiscent of Judas Iscariot. In prison, Rodriguez continues his inner questioning of God’s mercy and judgement. He cries out to God as he watches the suffering of the Japanese Christians intensify, but does not hear a response.

After some months in prison, the moment Rodriguez has longed for ever since entering Japan arrives: his captors lead him to Father Ferreira, and they are able to talk face-to-face. Rodriguez is shocked by his old teacher. Not only has Ferreira apostatized and taken a Japanese wife and name, but he is writing a book denouncing Christianity as a false religion. Ferreira confronts Rodriguez’s view of Japan. “Japan is a swamp,” he states cynically. “Christianity cannot grow here.” According to Ferreira, the Japanese martyrs did not die for the Christian God, but for a god of their own making, a strange blend of Catholicism and Buddhism. “The Japanese till this day have never had the concept of God; and they never will.”

With this discouragement resounding in his ears, Rodriguez is led back to prison. That evening, five Christians are tortured outside his cell, despite having already apostatized. Rodriguez is told that they will be set free if he merely trample on the fumie. His pride, Ferreira tells him, is the only thing standing between those Christians and deliverance. “A priest ought to live in imitation of Christ,” Ferreira says pleadingly. “If Christ were here, he would certainly have apostatized for them.” Rodriguez, haunted by the screams of the martyrs, looks down on the fumie when he hears what is meant to be the voice of Christ speaking to him. “Trample! It was to be trampled by men that I was born into this world. It was to share men’s pain that I carried my cross.” And so, eyes blinded with tears, Rodriguez steps on the fumie and denies his Lord.



I went into watching the movie having just read the book for a World Literature class, so I was pleased that Martin Scorsese followed the book’s plot and message as perfectly as possible. While this made for a longer movie (2 hours and 40 minutes), I think Scorsese handled the material very well, and kept the movie from dragging on. The film successfully incorporated symbolism from the book, most notably in its use of silence. The absence of a musical score, unusual to our modern ears, highlighted the absence of an answer to Rodriguez’s questions. Additionally, while the movie is rated ‘R’ for violence, it is not an action movie, and except for one or two scenes avoids excessive gore. This careful handling of the text emphasizes the gravity of the questions posed by the story.

The story itself deals with a variety of issues, but doesn’t necessarily provide answers. For the most part, I think it is a masterful work of literature which asks questions many Christians wonder about. How far does God’s grace to sinners extend? Why is God silent when His people are persecuted? Do the ends of a situation justify sinful actions? How closely is Christianity linked with Imperialism? It’s unusual to see such important questions deeply dealt with in films, and it was exciting to watch a movie which grapples with tough themes.

Despite its strengths, however, the conclusions Silence comes to are flawed. Even if Protestant viewers are able to suspend disbelief and accept the Roman Catholic worldview of the author and characters, conservative Christians cannot agree with how the movie is resolved. Rodriguez’s apostasy is presented as a paradox. If he kept his faith, he would indirectly cause the death of innocent people. If he sinned and denied Christ, he would be the instrument of salvation for the dying Christians. It was a lose-lose situation. Who can judge Rodriguez for giving up his personal faith for the lives of others?

As it turns out, Jesus can.

“Whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” Matt. 10:33

Jesus spoke these words knowing full-well the persecution his followers would face. He personally called Christians to suffer for His sake, as He suffered for them. Rodriguez believed that suffering by forsaking his faith – and thus his position, authority as a priest, honor, and self-respect – was a truer form of sacrifice because it was true humiliation (such as Jesus suffered), rather than the glorification of a martyr’s death. While it is true that absolute sacrifice entails debasement, this cannot negate the fact that Jesus does not call us to follow Him by denying Him. We follow by obeying Him.

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” John 14:15

When it comes to sin, the ends don’t justify the means. God is sovereign, and we can trust Him when presented with apparently unsolvable moral conundrums. While it would be unimaginably difficult to be faced with Rodriguez’s situation, Christians still need to affirm the necessity of obeying Christ.

“Nowhere does the Christian change his character. There is one gospel, and the same Jesus, who will one day deny every one who denies, and acknowledge every one who acknowledges God—who will save, too, the life which has been lost for His sake; but, on the other hand, destroy that which for gain has been saved to His dishonour…A state of faith admits no plea of necessity; they are under no necessity to sin, whose one necessity is, that they do not sin. For if one is pressed to the offering of sacrifice and the sheer denial of Christ by the necessity of torture or of punishment, yet discipline does not connive even at that necessity; because there is a higher necessity to dread denying and to undergo martyrdom, than to escape from suffering, and to render the homage required.”
-Tertullian, De Corona, Chapter 11

A Facebook friend recently shared this quote from one of the church fathers. It is eminently applicable to many of the issues dealt with in Silence. Christ can and does forgive repentant Christians who have denied Him in the past, but grace does not justify sin.

Overall, moviegoers will leave the theater with more questions about Christianity than they came with. Believers whose faith is strong, however, may find the questions to be a helpful springboard into dealing with the silence of God from a more gospel-centric worldview. I recommend it for mature viewers who are willing to wrestle with complex themes and work hard to find Biblical answers.

Cautions: Rated R for disturbing violent content. Although the gore isn’t as extreme as many R-rated movies, the story is extremely intense and the human suffering depicted feels realistic. Partial male nudity in a non-sexual context.



Whatever is Pure

“It is perilous to study the arts of the Enemy, for good or ill.”

Thus spoke Elrond, wisest of elf-lords in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. It was a grave situation – the great wizard Saruman had just been revealed as a traitor after declaring open war on his former friends, and indeed on all that was good in Middle Earth. The primary reason for his downfall, besides his pride?  According to Elrond, it was his intimate knowledge and study of evil. What had started as a noble pursuit to discover the weakness of the Enemy, ended in the temptation of power and lust of darkness overcoming Saruman.

While the Lord of the Rings is a fictional tale, Roman Catholic author J.R.R. Tolkien intended his story to illustrate truth pertaining to real life – applicability, he called it. So is it perilous to study the arts of the Enemy? What even are the “arts of the enemy”, and how do we study them?

For my purposes, I will define the arts of the enemy simply as evil. Black magic, false worldviews, acts of evil such as murder or adultery: really any sin that is in this world. Obviously many of us are surrounded by gross sin every day of our lives – after all, we are sinners living in a sinful society. There is no escape from it. Yet perhaps because of the very ubiquitous nature of evil, we as Christians should purposely strive to avoid unnecessary interaction with sinful influences. We should avoid filling our mind with the things of this world, “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1st John 2:16). I’m not saying we shouldn’t talk to sinful people – although spending a lot of time with ungodly friends can have a negative influence on a person – but that we need to evaluate how much of our life is spent immersed in the filth of sin, and how much is spent studying the things of God. As the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Is this the standard we have for our lives? When I sit down to watch a movie, do I stop to consider whether my film choice is pure or honorable? When I browse through the bookstore (or Amazon, as the case may be), do I pause and evaluate how true or lovely the book in my shopping cart is? And not only our entertainment. The choice of conversation can either be excellent and uplifting, or coarse and impure. As the Bible says in Ephesians 5:3-4:

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

These things must not even be named among us! Instead, there must be thanksgiving. For practical purposes, this requires us to be intentional with what things we fill our minds with. I would suggest that watching, say, an explicit or sexually graphic film would not be included in “whatever is honorable”. Profane music falls under “filthiness and foolish talk”, and is not healthy for a Christian to listen to on a regular basis. Even immersing oneself in fictional practices of dark magic falls under the “arts of the enemy” category (not to name any names here…)

I’m not trying to be legalistic. It is very important to realize that the Bible is not clear on where to draw the dividing line – at what point is it wrong to watch a sin-filled movie? How often is too often? How bad is too bad? After all, believers do have legitimate freedom of conscience. But what is the point of Christian liberty? The Westminster Confession of Faith explains that:

[T]he end of Christian liberty…. is, that, being delivered out of the hands of our enemies, we might serve the Lord without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him, all the days of our life.

We are set free from sin so that we can serve God, not so that we can flirt with evil and escape the consequences. Rather than using our freedom in Christ to do anything we want, we should focus on “serving the Lord… in holiness and righteousness before him, all the days of our life”.

In conclusion, I would like to submit to you the following verse from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. (1st Corinthians 10:23)

If we really love God, we will love the things He loves and hate the things He hates. Next time you are presented with a choice of what to meditate on, ask yourself whether it will be helpful to your spiritual life or to the lives of others. And if the answer is “no”, don’t be discouraged. Rather, fill your mind with the things of God and “try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:10) He is a beautiful God indeed, and it is beautiful to be His servant.

Gozo, paz, y alegria,

Rebecca Joy

Practical Hospitality in the Christian Life

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” ~ 1st Corinthians 10:24

In my last post I talked about the Biblical call to hospitality, and the importance of making it a priority in our lives. But what does it look like to show hospitality daily? And how and why do Christians fail in this others-focused life?

One of the most common reasons we fail in being hospitable is because of our own personal insecurities. For example, a few years ago a family at my church took in a young Asian girl as part of a foreign exchange program. She looked overwhelmed and lonely. A friend introduced us, and full of enthusiasm I said hello. But after that, I was too shy to keep up a conversation! I soon found myself avoiding her every Sunday, because it made me uncomfortable to feel shy. Continue reading “Practical Hospitality in the Christian Life”

A Call to Hospitality

Some good friends of mine were sharing stories of their time as missionaries visiting churches all around the United States. They recounted some of the more unfortunate and trying incidences of support raising. One such occurrence was when they were invited to speak at a church (both at the Sunday school and evening service) but were not provided dinner or a place to stay. On top of this, it was a small town and there were not any fast food restaurants in the area. Thus all seven of them spent Sunday afternoon stuck in their car in a parking lot down the street from the church. By the time evening service rolled around, everyone was rather hungry and extremely tired from being cooped up for so long.

Now, I am quite certain that church was not trying to be rude. Continue reading “A Call to Hospitality”

Nonsense Novels: A Book Review

It’s not often that I burst out laughing when reading quietly to myself. I think Dickens was the first author who instructed me how to laugh out loud from a book, just as Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables series taught me to weep disconsolately at the age of nine. But it is no surprise that the stories of Canadian author and humorist Stephen Leacock cause one to laugh frequently, at times even hysterically. Continue reading “Nonsense Novels: A Book Review”

Hymns of the Church: Irrelevant for Today? Part 2

“So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way He loves us…”

It’s probably not the worst song ever sung during a worship service, but I think everyone will agree it could be better, although it definitely has a catchy tune. This song was even nominated for a Dove Award for Rock/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year in 2010. And yet, how good of a song is it for the corporate worship of God’s people? Does it lend itself to a large group singing together? Does it express deep truths, or will its sentimental style speak to some but not others? Continue reading “Hymns of the Church: Irrelevant for Today? Part 2”

Hymns of the Church: Irrelevant for Today?

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind but now I see.

I am sure that any American Christian will know the words of this classic hymn, Amazing Grace, written by John Newton in 1779. But for many Christians today, that and perhaps a few Christmas songs are the only hymns they know. In churches around the world hymns are being replaced with other forms of worship music, and a powerful Christian heritage is being lost. Continue reading “Hymns of the Church: Irrelevant for Today?”

Different but Normal

Plaza Independencia, Montevideo
Plaza Independencia, Montevideo

People always want to know what it is like living in another country. I have found there is no true answer to this question, other than “different, but normal”. Different customs, a different language, different life. I didn’t realize how much I would miss certain foods – natural peanut butter, Oreo cookies, Mexican food such as chile peppers and tortillas, maple syrup. Then there are the cultural things. In Uruguay people never walk barefoot in their houses, they kiss on the cheek when greeting one another, and the average dinner time is 10PM. Many people walk and take the bus for transportation, even elderly people with canes and walkers. This means that when it rains, it is very likely your event or meeting will be canceled! And of course everything is in Spanish. I have found speaking Spanish to be incredibly hard and frustrating, yet also rewarding – and the only tool I have to communicate. It is no understatement that there are a lot of differences between life in Uruguay and life in the U.S.

Yet it also feels normal to live here. It is normal to walk down the street and see buildings that look like this:

Building MontevideoNormal to shop at our neighborhood feria, or farmer’s market, just as it is normal to go to the shopping (mall) to watch a movie (except the feria is a weekly excursion and the movie theater has only happened twice).

Walking to the feria (photo credit Allison Z.)
Walking to the feria (photo credit Allison Z.)

I go to church every week and worship God completely in Spanish. I find it normal take the bus and pay in pesos, and then walk however many blocks there are left to my destination. The food, the language, even my constant mistakes are my new way of life, and while it was a struggle at first, it has now become familiar.

But some things are too wonderful to be simply branded “normal”. For example, this past month I was blessed to house sit for our missionary teammates with Allison, a missionary associate here for the summer. Allison is adventurous, joyful, and an all-around amazing person to room with or just to have as a friend. For four weeks we cooked, walked the dog, learned more Spanish (and some French), and talked about everything, all the while exploring Montevideo. It was an experience I can never forget!

World, meet Allison. (Photo credit Veronica C.)
The lovely Allison. (Photo credit Veronica C.)

This post would not be complete without telling you about Veronica, a young Peruvian woman from church. She has been beyond sweet. A bubbly, optimistic kind of person, Veronica has spent nine years in Uruguay and knows what moving cross culturally is like. She really “gets it”, and she enthusiastically pursued friendship with Allison, and not long after, me. She has a heart motivated to serve the Lord, a difficult passion in the secular environment of Uruguay. She actually came to faith in Christ here in Uruguay–the most secular country of Latin America. Although she is almost ten years older than me, she has been a wonderful friend and “older sister”! We have had some great adventures together.

Las tres hermanas! (Photo stolen from Veronica)
Las tres hermanas! (Photo from Veronica)
Vero y yo
La hermana menor y la hermana mayor.

Even though I often need Allison to translate between Veronica and I, this is one of my first friendships with someone who doesn’t speak English. Veronica has taught me that mutual love for God can transcend cultures and languages – all that matters is that we both know our Savior! Vero, with her exuberant spirit and patience with my Spanish, has been a tangible example to me of how the Gospel brings together every language and every nation. It is my prayer and hope that God will call many more Spanish speakers like Veronica to Him, so that one day we may fellowship and praise our Lord together in the place without tears and without language miscommunications. I can’t wait to be able to speak fluently to my Uruguayan friends! But for the present, I will do the Lord’s work here on earth, alongside His church in Uruguay. May He prosper His people!

Gozo, paz y alegria,

Rebecca Joy

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

  Map of USA

California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina, Louisiana, Florida, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas, and Illinois.

These are all the states my family has driven through, visited and/or lived in for the past eight months. These sixteen states have been our home since February, when we moved out of our house in CA, sold almost everything, and packed nine people into an RV trailer.


Why? As missionaries to Uruguay, we work with two denominations: the PCA and OPC. The PCA requires that all their missionaries raise support before leaving for the field. Practically, this means that we have to visit Presbyterian churches anywhere and everywhere in the United States. To make this easier, we live in our camper and travel around as a family. We visit one to three new churches each week, getting to know them and the people there; this has been an immense blessing!

There is a quote from E.E. Cummings which says: “The three saddest things are the ill wanting to be well, the poor wanting to be rich, and the constant traveler saying ‘anywhere but here’.”

We have learned to be content in whichever state or city God has us in – seeing it as an adventure. While I sometimes long for the time when we settle down permanently, I try to enjoy the opportunities we have so graciously been given.

Some of the wonderful benefits that come from traveling like this include learning about history, like when we went to a civil war re-enactment in South Carolina:

P1050323P1050306 P1050312

Exploring nature, like when we visited the Great Smoky Mountains National Park:

2014-05-27 09.04.40-1

Re-connecting with old friends (the Simpson girls, Alex C., the Grey girls, Bonnie S., the Foulke family, Christ OPC church, the Wilson family, the Roe family, and others), plus meeting many new friends, some I still keep in touch with!




Thanks to the hospitality of the Mitchell family in SC and our friends the Wilsons in KS, I was able to go to two English/Scottish country balls – I have long adored country dancing, and had thought that I would never again participate in a ball like these ones! The kilts at the Scottish dance were particularly awesome…

We visited the National Space Museum in Huntsville, AL:

 P1050128 (2)P1050106

The boys taught me how to fish:


We even went to the Saint Louis Zoo, where I grew up going:

AnnaGrace posing at the Zoo.

We have been especially blessed to live for the past few months with our friends the Roe family, in an apartment on their property. There is nothing more lovely than living twenty feet away from one’s best friends! We are thankful for their hospitality.

Birdwatching with friends.

But most of all, we connected as a family. Living in a tiny RV for many months, traveling constantly, and adventuring together taught us much about each other. As Mark Twain said in Tom Sawyer Abroad,

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

I especially treasure this time, knowing that I do not have much longer before I grow up and leave home and family. Leaving house and country has taught me just how precious my parents and siblings are.

“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.” – Charles Dickens


In another month, we will again be traveling, this time by plane. Our destination: Uruguay. While I do not truly know what it will be like there, I do know that God will take care of us and lead us on our way, just as He always has!

J.R.R. Tolkien said in the Lord of the Rings that, “Not all those who wander are lost.” This is certainly true of my family. While we wander all throughout America, we know that we have a purpose, a destination – a place where God has called us to give witness to His glorious promises. In the words of John Newton:

“I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see”.

Gozo, paz y alegria,

Rebecca Joy

Note: The title of this post is a quote from Susan Sontag.

Missionary Kid or Kid Missionary?

I always liked being a kid. I liked it when the ladies at church complemented me on my dress, remarking in an admiring undertone “Rebecca is so cute!” I liked it when Grandma acted amazed at how much I had grown in the last six months. I liked kids’ meals and kids’ cartoons and all the cheesy, lame things marketed at young children. I mostly liked all the attention.

My brother, however, disliked practically every part of being treated like a child. He didn’t want adults pandering and patronizing. Kids’ meals were an insult to his “adult” preferences and tastes, being known as “cute” was the height of infamy, and babysitters were looked down upon as unnecessary interlopers. He wanted to be seen as mature and reasonable, not as a child to be pushed aside.

Thus it was that when, recently, my brother began saying that we are “kid missionaries, not missionary kids”, I considered it a lingering vestige of his childhood days. But the more he explained it to me, the more it made sense.

For half of my life, I have been able to call myself an MK – missionary kid. There are lots of acronyms for people like me: MK, PK (pastor’s kid), TCK (third culture kid), and so on. I usually call myself an MPK, a missionary pastor’s kid.

One aspect of being a missionary’s kid is displayed in how many people react to us moving to Uruguay. We are pitied for being dragged along to fulfill our parents’ calling. Now, while I used to feel that way, I have come to realize that when, before I was even born, God called my parents to the missions field, he was also calling each and every one of their subsequent children. It is no accident that my siblings and I were born into a missionary family. God has called us in a unique way, first to minister in California, Missouri, Texas and Mexico, and now in Uruguay.

In light of that, we can think of ourselves as missionaries just as much as our parents. While we may not actively share the Gospel or preach the Word every week, we can be involved in outreaches our church puts on such as Vacation Bible School, handing out tracts, and so on. We can also be a witness for Christ. Just as every Christian in their home country is called to glorify God and proclaim Him, we as kid missionaries should strive to portray the love of Christ in our daily lives in Uruguay.

At times it will be hard, and we may wonder why God would call us like this. But it will not change the fact that God has us exactly where He wants us to be. It will not change His commands to proclaim Him to every nation, tribe, and tongue. And it will not change His wonderful love for us!

So now, while I still call myself an MPK, I remember that I am a missionary in my own right, just as is every believer in the United States and around the world. I try to learn Spanish, I hold back from buying that great used copy of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea that will not fit in my suitcase for Uruguay, and I pray that the Lord will use me for His purposes.

And when I forget, my brother clues me in. Because that’s what wise younger brothers are for.

Gozo, paz y alegria,

Rebecca Joy